Pardon the double paired alliteration. This post has a question that will soon follow, but first I must preface it with a story. I have had my share of crushes as a girl, but as far as really liking a guy there have only been four that I really liked beyond physical attraction, my ex not included (I know crazy). I have been in one relationship that was nearly nine years ago and haven't been in one since. I have never been on a date (you see why my ex is my ex? lol he never asked me out on a date EVER). I get guys who will want to hang out all of the time, but most don't think I am interested in them so they don't take the risk. But in the meantime they sure are interested through their actions, and when I question them about it, I get a "No I am just being friendly". Not my idea of friendly.
Anyway, you can see how that could make a person go on lock down with their emotions if no one is trying to take the sword out of the stone. So I am extremely rusty when it comes to being normal around a guy I am actually attracted to. I have heard "Just be yourself. That's what he likes about you." Bless their little hearts. They did not get the preface. If they did, they would realize there is a war going on inside of me that is fighting to be open or comfortably closed off). I turn into that thirteen year old that actually gets aggravated around the guy that I like especially when he is actually showing me attention. I am sure he thinks I am crazy because I'm off and on like a light switch, and with uncertainty, the light keeps flickering and he is left utterly confused as if I am playing a game of Red Light, Green Light.
God has been a blessing in teaching me how to be vulnerable, but there are always hiccups. My question to my readers (who are all married I think) is did you ever go through this when you first met your spouse, and if so what did you do about it without revealing so much of the mystique about yourself?
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